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islamophobia inspector OFFICIAL ISLAMOPHOBIA INSPECTION
I regret to inform you that this weblog and some of its comments have been identified as potentially Islamophobic. Under EU Directive DCLXVI it is compulsory for all contributors to take the following Islamophobia test immediately:
YOU MAY BE AN ISLAMOPHOBE IF...
(1) You refer to the midwinter holiday as 'Christmas'.
(2) You save loose change in a p***y-bank.
(3) You allow your children to read unexpurgated versions of Winnie the Poo.
(4) You doubt whether it's politically correct to stone rape victims.
(5) You believe that the earth is round.
(6) You think there's something weird about a 50 year old man marrying a six year old girl.
(7) Your children play with Barbie dolls, teddy bears or LEGO.
(8) You object to being a third class citizen in your own country.
(9) You fail to celebrate cultural diversity when your daughter is gang-raped for not wearing a headscarf.
(10) You think government policy should be determined by your elected representatives rather than a raging mob.
(11) You object to your taxes being used to support people who are plotting to kill you.
(12) You aren't convinced that 'Jihad' means 'Inner Spiritual Struggle'.
(13) You don't understand why the Jews must be exterminated.
(14) You aren't married to at least one of your cousins.
(15) You don't have sex with your daughter-in-law.
(16) You sometimes have doubts about BBC reporting.
(17) You occasionally wonder what's inside those walking tents.
(18) You realise that taqiyya is not a Mexican drink.
(19) You believe moderate Muslims ride unicorns.
(20) You don't appreciate the multicultural need for Methodist grandmothers to be body-cavity searched before boarding aircraft.
(21) You claim to understand the words "Slay the unbelievers wherever you find them", even though you don't speak Arabic.
(22) You fail to see the difference between criticising Christianity, Buddhism or Hinduism, which is free-speech, and criticising Islam, which is racism.
(23) You have reservations about 'faith schools' where the kids will be taught that Jews and Christians are pigs and monkeys, at public expense.
(24) You don't understand why flying your country's flag has become a hate-crime.
(25) You don't believe that God is a brothel-keeper.
EVALUATING YOUR SCORE
How many of the questions did you answer 'YES' ?
On a scale of 0 to 25...
0 you are a Dhimmi and will be nominated for the Neville Chamberlain Peace Prize.
1 to 5 you are a Najis Kaffir.
6 to 10 you are an Islamophobe.
11 to 15 you are a Thought Criminal.
16 to 20 you are an Enemy of Allah.
21 to 25 you are a Racist Zionist Crusader.
Fatwas are automatically awarded for all scores above 5.
Fatwas will be posted in plain brown paper envelopes in a choice of laminated or embossed styles, generously sprinkled with ricin, anthrax, sarin and polonium.
